Should You Save Your Marriage?
- Adam Bercier
- Oct 15, 2016
- 2 min read

Getting married to someone you love often seems like one of the easiest choices to make. Unfortunately, after marriage many couples begin experiencing problems that make them forget how exciting getting married was. As marriage issues grow over a period of months or years, many couples begin to feel as though divorce is the only answer. However, getting divorced is not an easy process and any person seriously considering a divorce should first decide if they should try to save their marriage.
Are You In Love?
Do you still love your spouse? That is probably the most important question you should ask yourself. Regardless of the problems you are having, if you get a divorce from someone you still truly love chances are the divorce will only add to your problems. Think about how you feel about your spouse when they are not there. Do you miss them and wonder what they are doing? If you still love your spouse or feel that you would not be able to fall in love with another person, perhaps the relationship is worth saving. Remember, love is a powerful motivation to work through any difficult situation.
Do Situations Repeat Themselves
Have you noticed a pattern in your relationship? In some marriages one spouse will realize that their significant other is constantly repeating the same actions regardless of their negative impact on the relationship. Keep track of arguments by writing down the topic that starts the discussion that ultimately becomes the argument. During a fight it is not uncommon for both parties to forget what action started the fight. You might come to realize that your arguments are caused by the same situation which may be something minor or manner. Once you discover the root cause of your problems you will be able to decide whether or not it is something that can be addressed and fixed.
Overall Health
Is fighting and stress affecting your physical health? In extreme cases, especially when abuse is present, the health of one or both partners can be negatively affected. It is important to acknowledge any damage that is being done to your health because of stress or fighting. Also, try to think if your health was already compromised at the time of an argument. Sickness and discomfort can make a person impatient and turn a mild disagreement into a major fight.
There are several factors that contribute to a marriages success or failure. It is important to think of all parts of a relationship, the good and bad, before deciding whether or not to end it. If you believe that you still love your spouse and that there may be ways to address relatively small problems that have harmed your relationship, never hesitate to do what you can to save your marriage. There are many different books that will help walk you through constructive communication with your spouse, and marriage counselors who can help you and your spouse work through rough patches that you cannot deal with alone.
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